Monday, June 20, 2016

Update

as it stands right now i don't have a final answer on the result of my surgery - i need about 2 more weeks until i can give one - but it's been more than 6 weeks now so i wanted to update people on what's going on.

i think things could have gone a lot better but they also could have gone a lot worse. what i mean by that is i predict i'll be fine in a couple of months, but not the immediate future. i will probably have to have surgery again. considering i'm thinking long-term, this is not so bad.

there were 2 areas of interest in my wrist that were worked on during this last surgery: my ECU tendon (back of the wrist, for extension) and FCU tendon (front of wrist, for flexion). and unfortunately, while progress was made with both of them, i am pretty sure both areas are still problematic.

my ECU used to have pain in a couple of areas, and also really loud crackling. i was told that it had several microtears in it that the surgeon debrided. now, the pain in all but one of the areas is gone, and the crackling is gone. this one tiny area still causes a sharp sensation when i push down on it; i'd guess there's still a microscopic tear there. keep in mind that the MRI didn't show anything, so the surgeon basically had no guide. missing something like this would be pretty easy. this issue is honestly irrelevant, though; if it was all that was wrong with my wrist i'd be able to live with it for sure. the issues i used to have with my ECU are for the most part fixed. the main problem with it now is actually new, and related to the surgery...

in order to clean up these tears the doctor had to open up something called the tendon sheath, which is like a cover for the tendon. he had to stitch this back up, and, unfortunately, i don't think it healed properly at all. i was given a timeframe of 3-6 weeks for it to close back up and feel stable again. it has now been more than 6 and my ECU tendon still feels loose as hell. whenever i rotate my wrist it feels really weird. this is one of two things currently very wrong with my wrist. fortunately, fixing this surgically if it ultimately fails to heal should be pretty simple. i also can't say for sure yet if this truly failed to heal; the doctor said to give it another 2 weeks.

the major issue that is still present in my wrist has to do with the FCU tendon. in my last post, i said that 20-30% of the tendon was removed because it had developed something called calcific tendinitis, which causes this tendon to harden and begin to resemble a bone. i actually left the hospital that day under the false impression that this was cured. i was wrong. i met with my doctor 2 weeks post-op and he told me that the rest of my FCU was still corroded with calcification. he debrided a "notable piece of calcification" that was "likely problematic," but the rest of the FCU is still diseased. now that it's been 6 weeks and i'm able to feel my FCU, i can confirm that it is still rock hard and painful to the touch.

without question, this is the biggest problem i am faced with. i have extremely strong doubts that i will be able to play melee like this. this is the area that flared up and burned like hell back in april. what the doctor did was essentially a really soft fix. i don't think anything but a hard fix will put an end to this.

unfortunately, the hard fix is really drastic and will gimp me for life. the tendon is fully corroded and cannot be repaired at this point; the next step, should it come down to it, is to remove it. the FCU tendon is the strongest tendon in the entire wrist. removing it means causing the FCU muscle to atrophy; flexion becomes significantly weaker. i could not believe it when my doctor told me that doing this was even an option; just the thought of it is disgusting to me. he did say that if it really comes down to it, though, this should make me able to play melee again. so if i'm unable to play when i try to in 10 days or so, it is the reality i will be faced with.

there is nearly no information on FCU removal on the internet. this is obviously something i want to look into extensively before even considering, so if by some stretch someone reading this knows anything about what it may ensue, please DM me. i need to know that my doctor is right when he tells me i'll be ok.

tl;dr is that me being ready to compete again in the immediate future is unlikely. i would need for both the ECU sheath to heal (not looking good), and for the calcified FCU to end up being okay to live with (doubt it). you guys know me at this point, though: i'll do what it takes to play again if there is a way to. don't feel bad for me because i'm optimistic despite how shitty this may seem.

if i do start going to tournaments again in the next month or so, that either means that both of the above things^ ended up in my favor, or that i'm able to play temporarily (similar to february-april of this year) while still pursuing a permanent fix. i'll keep you guys updated; i regret taking so long to make this one.

so yeah, that is the plan. i'll do whatever it takes to play melee again; i'd probably feel empty inside forever if i couldn't play anymore lol. thanks for reading guys take care

28 comments:

  1. Just make sure to main Marth bro, that'll help ;)

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  2. Check filtered Facebook messages when you get a chance.

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  3. Hey, reading through your symptoms I have some that I think are similar, could you elaborate more on where you feel pain, in your wrist, or could someone point me to where I could look into it? Thank you

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  4. Hey, reading through your symptoms I have some that I think are similar, could you elaborate more on where you feel pain, in your wrist, or could someone point me to where I could look into it? Thank you

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  5. I know you don't want to hear this right now and it's not the same at all, but if after everything you can't play melee (not even falcon lol), please try to find your place behind the scenes. I'd hate to lose a personality like you permanently.

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  6. I think if you went to EVO it would hold the community over for long enough for you to heal completely :D

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  7. This comment has been removed by the author.

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  8. Don't remove the flexor capri ulnaris tendon, you'll just end up exposing the ulnar nerve and damaging it (which is almost unavoidable without the fcu padding/protecting it as you continue to seriously stress the area). This will have a myriad of side effects, namely you'll lose a lot of fine motor control in your hand. Not only will you be done with gaming, you'll be seriously handicapped for life with crippling arthritis.

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  9. what about evo? are going as a spectator or to compete

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  10. what about evo? are going as a spectator or to compete

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  11. Hax, just remember that your health is not worth playing any game. The community would obviously love to have you back in any way we can, but I can understand if the temptation to play becomes unbearable. Just remember to put your health before all else.

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  12. "Its drastic...but if I remove it...You should be able to play melee again." Your doctor is so anime.

    Also nothing in life is perfect Hax. Drop Spacies cuz they cause you physical pain. Drop Falcon cuz he causes you mental/heartache pain. Go Marth/Sheik. A brand new start. With a brand new top tier character. Or go Jiggs. And ruin the game for everyone else lmao.

    Or play Smash4. And play the closest character to Banjo Kazooie aka DuckHunt or DonkeyKong.

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  14. Hey Haxx, I hope you read this. It's Jack949, your TF friend from League of Legends, we met at Evo a few years ago.

    Don't cripple your fucking hand for Smash Bros.

    Love ya bud.

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  15. Hax you don't know me but christ, it's just a game....don't put all your eggs in this one basket. You seem to be a really driven person, which is an outstanding quality, but sometimes people need to let things go. This hand pain is a sign that you need to move on from this phase and progress to something greater. What that may be for you at the moment - I don't know - but don't ignore life's attempts at communication with you. The universe works for the good of every person, really, you included, but you have to try and listen to what it is telling you. Yes, this message is coming from a stranger, and you may disagree with my cosmic perspective, but in my experience there is an order to everything, even the trials you may be experiencing right now. - - - Also, you don't have to quit the scene, you may enjoy commentary, you have a unique, high level perspective and a good voice for it. Your interruption of Mango's stream where you ripped on the 20GX crew was amazing, seriously. One of my favorite moments in the scene...well, that and the great 5-0, of course. Anyways, if this was too personal, sorry, just wanted to help.

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  16. Read your tweet, hope PT works out - maybe you were meant to play after all! Good luck. - S-tier hax fan

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  17. Read your tweet, hope PT works out - maybe you were meant to play after all! Good luck. - S-tier hax fan

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  18. I don't know the details but it sounds like your situation calls for a joint replacement surgery. If that is not an option, I believe it comes down to some type of wrist arthoplasty. Stay strong!

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  20. Maybe stop playing league and actually rest your wrist.

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  22. If yor gonna wanna play again your gonna have to drop fox man, that character destorys your hands dude. Please go back to the pink muscle man that we all loved, we all beleive in you Hax$

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